"Brooke"

My sweet baby girl,

It has been two months since you came into this world. I miss you. I miss you every moment of every day.

The day you were born was one of my favourite days. It is a day I surely will never forget. It is true what they say, no one can ever imagine how much love a mother has, until their child is born. I loved you as soon as Daddy and I found out we were pregnant - even before we knew "who" you were. But the love I felt for you after giving birth is completely indescribable. Holding you, I truly felt like I was holding a piece of Heaven. Like God had given me just a small glimpse of what eternity with Him would feel like.

Your Daddy and I thought you were definitely a boy. I had many dreams in the beginning of my pregnancy, and every time it included a baby girl, but I thought for sure you were a boy. We even only had boy names picked out. I am so glad that we found out you were a girl during my pregnancy. It is hard to describe, but I felt like I knew you on a deeper level. Especially now, I am so glad that we knew for 19 whole weeks that you were a precious baby girl. I had the opportunity to truly know who you were during that time, and for that, I am blessed.

When we found out you were a girl, I was over joyed. I have always wanted a little girl, and was so excited to be given one. I wanted to raise you to be a woman of character. One who cares about people, is kind, and also passionate about all you do. I wanted to teach you to feel okay with who you are in your own skin, and most of all to love God with all of who you are.

But we didn't have any names picked for you! We were so set on you being a boy that we never imagined needing a girl's name. And when we came up with a list, your Daddy and I just couldn't seem to agree. It got to the point where we were arguing about it because we wanted your name to be just right for you. We wanted it to be perfect, and felt like it was a big decision.

And then one day your Daddy suggested "Brooklyn." We had gone on a trip to New York City for our first anniversary, and absolutely loved it. This name was perfect because it reminded us of a place that we loved. And then we realized, a short form for your name is Brooke! It was so perfect! Daddy and I love this singer named Brooke Fraser - she is a woman of God and writes beautiful music. We had lots of her music at our wedding too. It was perfect and we loved it! So we decided to name you Brooklyn.

This decision was solidified when I played Brooke Fraser's music for you when I was pregnant and you always woke up and began to move around inside of me. You liked music in general, but there were certain songs and artists that you danced for more, and she was one of them. I often said your name out loud, "Brooklynnnn!" "Broooooooke," as if I was calling you for dinner. I loved the sound of it. I still do.

We went back and forth for a middle name for you. And actually, when you were born, we still didn't have one picked out! We got it down to two, and ended up deciding on Adelaide. I love the sound of that name too. In high school, Mama went to Burkina Faso on a mission trip two years in a row. It was there that I met a little girl named Adelaide that I fell in love with.

"Brooklyn Adelaide". Perfect.

I hope you are celebrating up in Heaven, Brooke. You would have been two months old today. I wonder where you would be. Would you be opening your eyes more these days? Would you be on a sleep schedule yet? Would you be starting to smile and coo?

Mama and Daddy have been doing okay. We have moments that provide healing, and moments where we feel like we lost you just yesterday. But we desperately miss you. Please know that. And we will always miss you. Forever and always.

I came across this song called "My Name" by a country singer, George Canyon. I had heard it a long time ago, but didn't really think much of it. It is written from the perspective of a baby who was born still like you. It brings me to tears and makes me thankful that we actually knew your name while I was pregnant with you.

"I'm gonna change this world, if I ever get out of here." Just like the song talks about, I had dreams that your life would change this world. And is absolutely has. You have brought so much healing and perspective to so many people, without even taking a single breath on this earth.

I love you so much my sweet baby.

Forever and always,

Mama