Tiny Baby Clothes

As I sit here, on a Saturday night at just 10pm, folding laundry and unwinding from a busy day, I am overwhelmed with just how blessed I really am.

I remember so vividly how excited I was to be washing, drying, and folding tiny little pieces of clothing after our baby showers we had to celebrate Brooklyn. All of the cute girly clothes, receiving blankets, socks, towels and washcloths all folded perfectly and put away in preparation for our sweet baby. Once we lost her, I had a really hard time looking at all of those outfits baby items, knowing how much I had prepared for her arrival, and how I would never get to enjoy seeing her dressed up or using any of what I had washed.

Towards the end of my pregnancy with Aubs, I think I only did two loads of laundry. It took me a long time to work up the courage to do this - mostly because I was scared. So very scared that I would spend time, energy, and emotions preparing all of these "things" for her, only to be disappointed again. Still, I did the few loads of laundry I had, and hoped and prayed for a different outcome.

Anyone who's had a newborn knows just how much laundry you do in the first few months of their life. Something that was fun and exciting in preparation for Brooklyn, and then difficult and emotional while preparing for Aubs - quickly turned into just another mundane task that I have done many many times since Aubrey's safe arrival.

But as I sit here tonight folding tiny baby clothes, I found myself overwhelmed with emotion. My eyes started to swell with tears, as I remembered those times that I washed items for Aubrey, not knowing if she would ever get to use them. Before they were just items that helped hope. Now they hold memories of things I have been able to see Aubrey do, and experiences we have had with her. Her laundry isn't just laundry, but hope that was fulfilled in the form of a 7lb 9oz baby girl.

She is here, and she is safe. Sometimes I forget that just over 5 months ago, I wasn't so sure this would be the case.

It's often the things that seem the most mundane that remind me just how blessed I am. A great reminder to me that it is such a privilege to be able to do these little daily tasks for her that "just need to be done." The time it takes to nurse her, schedule outings around nap times (even when it seems inconvenient), washing and sanitizing her toys, and the tiny baby clothes that I have the privilege of folding.

Tonight, for the first time in a little while, I am reminded of how very thankful I am for Aubrey's life and health, and the joy that she brings us.